Sex talk silenced
This is a news story fom Disability Now- go to www.disabilitynow.org.uk to find out more.
Sex education is widely believed to be a key part of young people’s schooling and a vital part of establishing a healthy sexual identity. Why is it then that so few disabled people have access to it?
In DN’s sex survey this year, almost half of the 1,000 respondents said they had not received any form of sex education at school. Eighty four per cent were not given guidance specific to the needs of disabled people and many had been discouraged from the idea of sex altogether. As a result, confusion and negative self-image over sex and relationships were evident in almost all our survey responses.
Exactly who bears responsibility for excluding disabled people from in-depth sex education is difficult to know. Is it the government, is it schools themselves, be they mainstream or special, is it disability organisations and campaigners, or is it families and carers? The truth is that all parties bear responsibility.
Sian Davies, disability officer for the National Union of Students, is heading up a campaign, The Body Beautiful and Sexually Proud, to encourage more disabled university students into open discussions about sex and how to be safe. “There is a general feeling that they don’t have the education they need and have a right to,” she says, adding that she has encountered students who have asked how to have sex and who “had no clue how to engage in talking to people”.
Despite DN’s low figures on the number of people who have received sex education, a spokeswoman for the Department for Education and Skills (DfES) stresses that the national curriculum requires a “basic minimum” of teaching, covering the biological aspects of reproduction.
Beyond that, she adds, schools are advised to have a regularly updated policy on teaching sex education. The content “should cover” subjects like HIV and AIDS, how to avoid unwanted sex and other basic factual information. But the government believes parents and teachers should decide what is taught.
Where does this leave disabled people whose parents and teachers often shy away from explaining the subject in a comprehensive and effective way?
Paul O’Connell, a researcher for the Rite Project, which recently interviewed 33 disabled adults on a range of issues including sexuality, says: “In special needs schools it [sex education] is definitely lacking. In mainstream schools it is there, but to what degree is questionable. Mostly, disability didn’t figure in it and it was a bit of an uncomfortable situation for students and teachers. My sense from people was that the teachers didn’t know how to broach it.”
A female Rite Project interviewee, 31, says that the only sex education she ever received was from her mother. They discussed menstruation and “becoming a woman” but she has never had a conversation about being with a sexual partner. “I cannot have a normal relationship because I do not have the knowledge of sex,” she says.
“My main problem is that if I go on a date, most men expect more than having dinner and I don’t feel I have enough knowledge of anything.”
DN reader Amanda Ilttie says: “Society still thinks that people like myself are not entitled to a sex life. I find this very frustrating as my body is just like any other woman’s inside.” She adds that her first experience at a gynaecologist contributed to a fear of sex because she felt the doctor did not have proper training to be sensitive to her needs. She has been haunted ever since.
She would like to see specialised clinics across the country where disabled people can confront any concerns they have about sex. “Such a clinic should provide a service where disabled people can be taught to make love physically by a specially trained sex therapist who is vetted,” she says.
Another factor is that even though groups like the Family Planning Association, the National Autistic Society and the Sex Education Forum have put out sex education guidance for disabled people and professionals, few people know they exist. Dr Tom Shakespeare, one of the authors of The Sexual Politics of Disability, says more specific information must be made available.
“There aren’t enough initiatives, and I don’t think the ones that exist have been mainstreamed,” he says. “Sex and relationships is an area most people feel insecure and uncertain about, particularly disabled people.”
He says there is “no excuse” to ignore disabled people when educating youngsters. “I think a lot of parents are anxious about their disabled child being sexually active, so they think it’s better for them not to know about it.
“There is no doubt that they can be vulnerable and we should be aware of that,” he adds, stressing the importance of teaching those with learning difficulties to have appropriate and safe sexual relationships.
He concludes: “We need to help people understand what is normal behaviour in this area and help them negotiate these situations. We need to empower people.”
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